Ah, the 4th of July. That magical time of year when those of us from across the pond desperately try to insert ourselves into the US narrative and convince you that we are just as American as apple pie, baseball, and structural debt. Naturally, I’m about to do the exact same thing

You see, my brother went down a massive rabbit hole on Ancestry.com and discovered that presidential blood flows through my veins

Who is this titan of American history that I'm related to, you ask? Is it Ronald Reagan? Jimmy Carter? A member of the Bush dynasty, perhaps a Clinton? or Donald Trump? 

No. It is none other than William Henry Harrison

Now, before you say “Who?”, let me assure you, the man is a legend. Granted, he is a legend for reasons that are objectively hilarious, but a legend nonetheless

William Henry Harrison was the ninth President of the United States. He holds two magnificent, deeply contrasting records in American history:

• The Longest Inaugural Speech: A staggering two-hour filibuster of pure, unadulterated yapping

• The Shortest Time in Office: Exactly 31 days

Yes, in March 1841, old William decided to deliver his two-hour epic outside in freezing weather without a coat or a hat. Because nothing says "presidential stamina" like immediate, severe hypothermia. He caught a terrible cold, which swiftly turned into pneumonia, and he became the first U.S. president to die in office. He literally talked himself to death

But here's my ultimate claim to American citizenship: because he was born in 1773, he was the last U.S. president born in the Thirteen Colonies before the Declaration of Independence. Which means, technically, he was a British subject

So really, my ancestral claim to the White House is that I am related to a British guy who got the top job in America, refused to wear a jacket, gave a speech that lasted longer than his actual presidency, and immediately checked out. If that isn't a beautiful bridge between our two nations, I don’t know what is

Wishing all Americans a happy 4th July!