This brilliant little article leapt of the page the moment I set eyes on the first paragraph.
How many of us really learn how listen at work, or in relationships even? How often to we default to the 'gist' level where we zone out to the point that we only here the bare minimum needed to engage.
More worrying, the next stage up is 'rebuttal'. We listen a little bit more, but only enough to take a defensive position.
We could be talking about relationships 'in real life', but surely there's never been a truer article written about the way we fail to achieve empathy on social media?
Twitter, even with 280 characters, seems designed for rebutal. I remember, even, and old work colleague whose approach on social involved 'getting my retaliation in first of all'
Of course I love the bluebird, but I wish people would sometimes extend the conversation, make the effort to understand an opposing point of view.
This article will help, by the way. Best couple of minutes you'll spend this week. Get reading!
One level beyond that is where we listen for what their argument, phrase, or statement says about who they are in world. What does it symbolize or represent to them? This is where we filter their emotion and logic through a prism of empathy. It is where we should be as negotiators. Getting beyond the cursory level of understanding to a deeper appreciation of their world view. If we do not understand their world view, we do not really understand them. If we do not understand them, we will never influence them. It it is difficult to maintain this level of listening every waking moment of everyday but we need to be ready and willing to get here when the situation dictates.