Last week, we talked about the art of sorting out your taxis before you land. This week, I want to take you back to a massive $2.4 million deal I pulled off with MTN, the massive South African telecom network
Securing that contract meant flying back and forth to South Africa every single week for six months. I spent so much time at 35,000 feet that Virgin Atlantic practically threw a Gold Card at me
My very first trip there was for a Supply Chain conference at Sun City. My colleague and I completely blanked on basic geography and forgot that August in the Southern Hemisphere means winter. It was freezing, and our wardrobe choices were tragic
But the weather was nothing compared to the daily commute. Our driver kept the doors deadlocked, the engine revving at every red light, or "robot," as the locals call them and was constantly poised to drag-race away from potential carjackers. The taxi even had reinforced windows just in case anyone tried to smash-and-grab
Since I was practically living there, I did the sensible thing and hired a dedicated personal driver. He became my shadow: airport to hotel, hotel to the office, office to hotel. Every. Single. Day
Now, Johannesburg traffic is an absolute nightmare. It took a solid hour just to get from my hotel to the Oracle office. One afternoon, my driver was mid-rant, passionately explaining the sheer scale of political corruption in the country. To emphasize his point, he picked up his mobile phone
Cue the instant cosmic irony
Almost immediately, blue lights flashed behind us. Pulled over. As we sat there, I started feeling immense guilt. I figured the right thing to do was offer to pay his ticket; a massive fine would absolutely gut his weekly wages
The police officer strolled up and passed a clipboard through the window for the driver to sign. That’s when I watched my driver smoothly reach into his wallet, slip a few South African Rands under the paperwork, and hand it right back
The cop didn't even blink. He just smiled, said, “Don't let me catch you doing it again, have a great day,” and waved us off
We sat in dead silence for a few moments as we pulled back into traffic. Finally, my driver looked in the rearview mirror, shrugged, and said, "Well... sometimes corruption is good."
Conclusion
You have to love the irony of a lecture on national corruption being interrupted by a literal bribe. While I can't officially recommend "cash-stuffed clipboards" as a standard corporate expense, it certainly taught me a valuable lesson about business travel: always expect the unexpected, lock your doors, and never underestimate the sheer efficiency of a well-timed "local tip."
