I was sent a link to the blog - I had to check when it was written. November 6, 2018 - yes that's 2018 and not 1988. 

It's so far out of date it should be in a museum, or framed and hanging in a funky gallery - hundreds of people milling by gazing in amazement. Then there would be coachloads of school children, all laughing hysterically at what their parents and grandparents had to put up with all those years ago,

What these 16 archaic closes are relying on is stupid buyers. Once upon a time when there wasn't the internet, TV, radio, electricity etc - a buyer may have fallen for one of the closes. Buyers are not stupid.

Today, these attempts at closing come across as shallow and desperate measures to get a deal at any cost. Modern day buyers don't respond to that and I doubt the writer of the blog would either.

Here's an idea - by honest, be trustworthy and be yourself. People buy from people and not plastic clones spouting the out of date closes.